also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
