I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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