She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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