Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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