I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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