Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
