Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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