i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
