when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize