at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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