I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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