i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Randomize
