Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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