ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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