we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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