capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Floor bacon is actually really good
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
