He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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