Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize