Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
