My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
