are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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