Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We left the knife in your bed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
