"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
