never play flip cup with pint glasses
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize