Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
