weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
