I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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