I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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