don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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