What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
