Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
from now on my penis is your penis
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize