Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
