I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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