I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
