maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
