Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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