I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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