she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
