I need help removing her.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
