I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can't turn off my feet"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
