is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
