She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
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