yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
