You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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