Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
