Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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