I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
