Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
