You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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