I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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