Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
