I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
