You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
