Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
