I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
