I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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