someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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