i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
