Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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