Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize