I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
