My room smells like vodka and shame
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize