Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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