we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
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The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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