Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
